By Lisa Magill
I am a 34 year-old woman who has been navigating the minefield that is terminal cancer for nearly two years now.
I have had a rare cancer for a total of four years, but I have been terminal for the last two.
I have had chemo numerous times, many different immunotherapy treatments, countless major surgeries, radiation and other treatments in between.
Unfortunately, none of them have ever really worked, but I am still here fighting, nearly two years later, when I was given only weeks to months to live.
I have never let my disease define me.
As a woman, I am a daughter, a friend, an auntie, a sister, but I am a human being first and foremost – my disease comes after all of that.
I wasted the last 14 years of my life in an emotionally abusive, controlling relationship and lost a lot of myself in that time.
It took my disease, one very good friend's advice, my terminal diagnosis and many years of being ill to finally realize that in order to live my life to the fullest although I'm dying, I needed to get rid of the other cancers in my life.
Upon ending that relationship, a whole new world opened up to me and I was able to see the world through my own eyes for the first time in many years.
The beauty that there is in just the little things in life continue to amaze me everyday.
For so many years, I was told I was useless, worthless and would amount to nothing, so when I ended that relationship, I started a blog.
The blog was initially more for me than for anybody else. It was cathartic and it helped me like an online diary.
Then, this amazing thing happened – a beautiful woman published my blog and it just went crazy.
People started following my Facebook page Terminally Fabulous and started reading my blog terminallyfabulous.weebly.com.
Since then, I have been able to talk with so many different types of people from around the world who are affected by this horrible, insidious disease called cancer.
Cancer is not discriminatory. It doesn't care who you are, what you do or how much money you make, its only job in life is to destroy yours and those around you.
My message for people out there who are living life every day like there's no tomorrow: continue to do that. That is what life is about.
You shouldn't be worried about whether you made the right sandwich for your kid at lunch today, whether your child has the best toys, or whether your husband is running late 15 minutes from work.
What you should be worried about is whether you gave your child a hug before they went to school, whether you played with your child, and whether your husband knows you're looking forward to him getting home from work.
There are so many things in life that we take for granted and if cancer has taught me anything, it is that the important things are family, friends, enjoying life, living life, and not just watching it go by.
Taking the time to breathe the little things in, that's what is important. Embracing it and actually taking it by the horns, not just being part of it watching it go by.
The thing I love most about my blogging is when I receive a message from a family member or a person who is currently being affected by cancer and they tell me my blog gives them comfort and also helps them understand their loved one’s journey.
I have had messages from people telling me they have read the blog to their dying family member and it gave them a feeling of being understood for the first time in a long time. They died feeling confident knowing they were not alone and someone else felt the same way they did.
Although so many people are affected by this disease, we as cancer patients so often feel alone, like our journey is our own and no one else could ever fully understand it.
It is true that each person’s story is different, but we do have one thing in common and it is the knowledge that especially if we are terminal, we will all come to the same end, unless we are of course granted that elusive miracle.
I hope for myself and everyone else that they get it, but we need to be realistic and accept the fact that we are living to die, so I want to go down in a blaze of glory.
I want to make a difference and this is what my blog Terminally Fabulous does for me.
It makes me feel like I'm actually doing something for people in need and that will be my legacy, something I was always told I was never smart enough to leave behind.
If I could leave one message to you out there, it would be if you are unhappy, please remember that you only have one life.
It is to be lived and enjoyed, not to be stifled and definitely not to be controlled by someone else and their fear of your success.
Do what you want to do, not what others others think you should be doing, Live your life, that's what it's there for!
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